NEWS

WITH MAGIC BULLET'S MICHAEL HOWARTH

09/03/2010

Howarth with an innocent member of the public

Image by Kelly White

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY?
Yep, Widow Twanky in Aladdin. I was crap.

HAVE YOU KNOWINGLY BROKEN THE LAW?
Never knowingly, not me, no…

TELL US YOUR FAVOURITE JOKE…
Anything Tommy Cooper does has me in stitches.

WHOSE BATHWATER WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO DRINK?
Have a word, that’s revolting…

WHAT’S THE WEIRDEST DREAM YOU’VE EVER HAD?
I won a British Superbike race.

WHAT’S THE MOST EXPENSIVE THING YOU’VE NICKED FROM A HOTEL ROOM?
Nothing, I thought it was all free.

WHAT’S YOUR BEST CHAT-UP LINE
Don’t have one (what about ‘Do you want to be my brolly girl?' – DM).

WHO WAS YOUR FIRST LOVE?
Can’t remember her name but was going marry a girl at playgroup when I was three.

WHERE’S THE WORST PLACE YOU’VE BEEN TO THE TOILET?
Grimsby.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SWEARWORD?
Fookin’ Nora.

WHAT’S THE BEST RUMOUR YOU HAVE HEARD ABOUT YOURSELF?
That I did wear Tena for Men while on the bike. Trouble was I started it…

STAR WARS OR LORD OF THE RINGS?
Neither, they are both rubbish.

WHAT’S THE WORST SMELL IN THE WORLD?
I used to work on machines that fleshed sheep skins. Climbing under those to mend them was a living hell.

WHAT’S THE STUPIDEST QUESTION YOU’VE EVER BEEN ASKED?
Someone asked to borrow a tenner once. Get real I’m northern.

WHO WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO HAVE A SHOWER WITH?
Carmen Electra.

Next time, reigning British Superbike Champion Leon Camier